Don't you send me to vm
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
