I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
