thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
