Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
