haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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