you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
