He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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