i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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