By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
