I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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