Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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