I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize