i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is Oprah even human
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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