before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
