At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
