It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
