I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
