There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
