"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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