you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
be right there i have to get my cape
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
