We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize