...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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