I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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