You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize