Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
