He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize