It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i wish my penis had a tongue
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
