Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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