The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
