just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
