Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
