so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
