I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
