Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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