He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
