Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
