i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
