meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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