she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
