How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
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BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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