Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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