Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize