I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All the doctor said was why
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
