she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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