that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
