So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
