is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My life is pants optional.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
