More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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