JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
FUCK WHALES
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
