what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
