Pappa wants mamma naked
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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