Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I intend to get homeless drunk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
