I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
