Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize