so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize