Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize