it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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