Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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