maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
