it wasn't lemon gatorade
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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