Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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