did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
