I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
