it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
