i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
