That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
