you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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