i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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