i just wanna soil my oats bro
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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