This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
