You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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