i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
